This is one of the oldest adages in every culture. Religious and other ancient texts mention that children owe a great debt to their parents. Philosophers---Western and Eastern---have written volumes that children should always obey their parents. It is perfectly clear that children owe some obedience to their parents, at least when they, the children, are too young to know what is good for them. But it is difficult to agree that children should always obey their parents.
First of all, the adage assumes that parents know everything and that they cannot be wrong and that they will always do what is good for their children. In this regard, what if a situation arises when it is clear that what the parents want the child to do, either out of lack of knowledge or out of malice, is clearly disadvantageous to the child? Secondly there is the question as to when the children can stop obeying; that is when they should stop children can stop obeying their parents and start leading their own lives.
In a rapidly changing world where it is impossible to keep up with latest developments, even primary school children are learning things that parents have never even heard of. Under such circumstances, it is clear that sometimes, parents may not know enough to guide their children carefully. Parents with strong cultural backgrounds often, though meaning well, teach their children how to live in their --- parents' --- time and country of origin. For example, the parents of the writer spent their whole lives teaching him how to live in our mother country, Myanmar. Once in the world of work, the writer had to learn very fast how to live in the present time. Needless to say, he suffered many disadvantages because of their upbringing. The supposition that parents will always do what is good for their children is ridiculous: We see far too many cases of abuse of children by parents; and even extreme cases where parents have been known to sell their children into prostitution. Surely children do not have to obey their parents always.
With regard to the second problem, it is easy to see that adult children must learn to live without their parent's guidance. Certainly there comes an age when the children must cease being their parents' children and start being their own families. We can assume too that parents too want to let their 'children' go as soon as they can cope by themselves. The catch here is when does this happen? There can be no magic age and each case may have to be judged individually. But one thing is apparent, it is parents who must decide when 'obedience' is replaced with 'guidance' and later with 'advice' . ' Advice' carries with it the option of being discarded.
Obedience to parents if not deeply analysed appears so natural, but upon reflection does bring out a few problems. Certainly there should never be blind obedience to anyone, parents included. Obedience to rules would be a more reasonable choice. The rules should be made after a lot of empirical study and with the aim that they should be good for society as a whole. Perhaps parents of the future will be more enlightened to give up some of their authority and work towards doing what is good for all.
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